Something of Myself
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The Business of Life
Yes, indeed, I do not understand the idea of 'love.' I understand only 'pain.' Hell, at least I possess that ability.
Some people forget easily. Others have short-lived memories. Whichever way you see it, it's either half empty or half full. You cannot negate the half. The split makes it beautiful. The emptiness makes it a subject of discussion. An object of wonder. Did you ever think like that? Did you ever stop and ask yourself, if you really understood human emotions?
Why do people fall in love? Why do people hate each other? What happens when you are trapped in a situation that you hate? Wherefrom does repulsion stem? Why do we get angry? Why do we lust? Did you ever give away everything for a person? Did you take away everything from someone? What does happiness mean? Isn't life nothing but a base deal and all of us businessmen? Or are we pimps? Trading whores? Making deals? Selling flesh? Selling desires? Selling ourselves? Buying out others? At the cost of our lives. Or perhaps at the cost of others.
Why do we even think? What makes us think?
When will this cease? This sluggish, morbid, lewd, uncouth, boisterous existence filled with hypocrisy and convenience. The convenience of the self. Damn, it's all about conveniences. Base. Baser. Basest.
And yet, even after all this, they look at you and pass judgements. They point at you, at their convenience. The only exception is when you nurture an embryo in your womb for all those months. That's not about convenience. It's about pain. And the joy associated with the pain.
That is why I understand 'pain' and not 'love.' I choose to be this way because this is the safest, securest way of doing the business.
Yes, indeed, I do not understand the idea of 'love.' I understand only 'pain.' Hell, at least I possess that ability.
Some people forget easily. Others have short-lived memories. Whichever way you see it, it's either half empty or half full. You cannot negate the half. The split makes it beautiful. The emptiness makes it a subject of discussion. An object of wonder. Did you ever think like that? Did you ever stop and ask yourself, if you really understood human emotions?
Why do people fall in love? Why do people hate each other? What happens when you are trapped in a situation that you hate? Wherefrom does repulsion stem? Why do we get angry? Why do we lust? Did you ever give away everything for a person? Did you take away everything from someone? What does happiness mean? Isn't life nothing but a base deal and all of us businessmen? Or are we pimps? Trading whores? Making deals? Selling flesh? Selling desires? Selling ourselves? Buying out others? At the cost of our lives. Or perhaps at the cost of others.
Why do we even think? What makes us think?
When will this cease? This sluggish, morbid, lewd, uncouth, boisterous existence filled with hypocrisy and convenience. The convenience of the self. Damn, it's all about conveniences. Base. Baser. Basest.
And yet, even after all this, they look at you and pass judgements. They point at you, at their convenience. The only exception is when you nurture an embryo in your womb for all those months. That's not about convenience. It's about pain. And the joy associated with the pain.
That is why I understand 'pain' and not 'love.' I choose to be this way because this is the safest, securest way of doing the business.
5 Comments:
Lots of ambiguity here. Moves from question to answer and back to question again. Sometimes I say...that to ask the question in the first place means that we know the answer already. It is often the way.
I think we let ourselves guide our true 'inner' being in the end. It is that which informs everything we do. It is that which 'tells' us what to do in the end. And whatever we do, and whatever we say...perhaps it is all meant because we guided from within.
Interesting thought Bloom. But I wonder what is it that drives our 'inner' being...any thoughts?
kichhu bujhlaam na ... :)
I think that our inner being perhaps drives itself. It stems from the heart and the power of what we 'feel'. I find that my best moments have been led not by the mind..but by the rashness of the heart. You can't trust the heart sometimes...but it can take you to some very interesting places. I think that the 'pull' takes you where it will.
I am going away for a bit...I shall miss you Pele. I've really enjoyed reading your words. I sense a similarity of feeling between you and I. Similar themes and ideals.
I hopefully shall come back...not sure when though. Technical hitches beyond my control!
Yeah, I know what you mean - like they say, the heart has a reason that reason does not know! But I am not entirely sure if that's the way to be. Although, I have to confess that whatever I am, is because of my heart. My mind just refuses to work! ;) :P
I really hope you do not go away. I thought this was just the beginning of it all. I had SO much to learn from you Molly. I hope you return. Soon. Once you are done with filling those dentures... :) Take care...
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