Something of Myself
Monday, September 25, 2006
Something of Myself
It's coming back after ages.
I am sensing a part of myself - near, very near, but not there yet. It'll be so nice to meet up with you. The old me. Reckless. Carefree. Sensitive. Daring. Go-getting!
It feels cold - hair-raisingly cold. A certain numbness envelopes me. I surrender. All of myself. Yet another time. As if I was always ready, willing and able.
Someone's outside. I can hear the footsteps. The smell of lilies. The sweet invite. The warm embrace. The naïve smile.
I have so much to tell you. Telling stories. Heartbreaking memories. Painful encounters. Ruined relationships. Elastic compromises. Earthy promises.
I need it to rain. It always feels like redemption when it rains. A tiny amount of independence. A huge amount of boisterousness. Velocity. Spear-like.
Sudhu tomar jonno (Only for You).
I need to do so much before he comes in. I need to dress up. Need to unmask. Need to take stock of everything I have to share. Need to update the log book. Need to feel the pain again, to enable me to explain what I felt then.
Please wait for a little while. Hang around. I want to feel this thing - I want this feeling to last a while - a little while - only a lifetime! I promise, I will bring you roses in December. Only if you promise to stay around.
I need to be with you. I need to be with myself. Something of myself.
It's coming back after ages.
I am sensing a part of myself - near, very near, but not there yet. It'll be so nice to meet up with you. The old me. Reckless. Carefree. Sensitive. Daring. Go-getting!
It feels cold - hair-raisingly cold. A certain numbness envelopes me. I surrender. All of myself. Yet another time. As if I was always ready, willing and able.
Someone's outside. I can hear the footsteps. The smell of lilies. The sweet invite. The warm embrace. The naïve smile.
I have so much to tell you. Telling stories. Heartbreaking memories. Painful encounters. Ruined relationships. Elastic compromises. Earthy promises.
I need it to rain. It always feels like redemption when it rains. A tiny amount of independence. A huge amount of boisterousness. Velocity. Spear-like.
Sudhu tomar jonno (Only for You).
I need to do so much before he comes in. I need to dress up. Need to unmask. Need to take stock of everything I have to share. Need to update the log book. Need to feel the pain again, to enable me to explain what I felt then.
Please wait for a little while. Hang around. I want to feel this thing - I want this feeling to last a while - a little while - only a lifetime! I promise, I will bring you roses in December. Only if you promise to stay around.
I need to be with you. I need to be with myself. Something of myself.
7 Comments:
This is a beautiful piece Pele. I had tears in my eyes as I read this. I suppose because it reminds me a little of 'me' and how sometimes opening the door is even more difficult than closing it. All of those feelings...all of the things that we hide from. I think we should be more open to these things. They are wonderful opportunities, like the rose before it has bloomed.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Molly thanks so much for your note. It's an overwhelming feeling to know that you had tears in your eyes while reading this. I hope I didn't make you dig too deep. :)
Have you got a computer? If not, then please do!!! :) xx
i love this! really wonderful
Even i had tears in my eyes while reading the column. You are damn good man, ki korchis start writing, thats what u r born to do!
u deleted my comment? this post is amazing!
Prerona - No, I didn;t delete YOUR comment. How could I? I was away and didn't have access to the internet. Tai deri holo. Thank you for your comment. Subho Bijoya. :)
Misti - You remember our deal - you start a publishing house, I'll start writing, I promise! :)
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