Something of Myself
Monday, October 16, 2006
Memento
I saw this print advert in the newspapers today. It was of a private bank and the copy read: "If hope is your plan for the future, then you need to come to us." Ha! I smiled to myself. I can't seem to remember a day now, ever since December 2004, when 'hope' was not my 'plan', when it was not the only thing that I have been banking on! ;)
Times they are strange and people are becoming stranger. It's almost as if everyone that you thought you knew are becoming something else. Transforming into different beasts. Kafka-like ladybugs crawling on the floor.
Or am I becoming someone else?
I talked about renewed vigour in my last post and I thought it was coming, I thought it was just at the door, waiting for me, but then it never arrived since I last caught sight of it. Strange music in my head. Blank noises engulfing me to the point that even when I am conversing, it seems like a role play, a staged performance. The laughter, like the troubled jester who has to make people laugh in order to earn his money to feed his children. The tears, like the time-torn man on stage, who has to touch people's chord to become a tragic hero, to earn the applause. The groggy feeling inside my head, like the goalie who has to step out of the match 'cause he knows the game is over - loss is inevitable.
Winter is near. The weather is dry. They are celebrating every night, in some park, playing music till dawn, or inside some club, doing salsa as the Bacardi Night rolls out. All the brands are up for sale. Flashy accessories, eye-dazzling make-ups, figure-hugging shirts, mini-skirts, tequila shots, the swish and the swoon, the shake of the hips, the slight touch, the un-initiated thrust, the flirtatious smile, the over-used pick-up line: "Your place or mine"?
Life's a tango. I got that bit right. You got to know the moves and you got to have a partner to do it. Slow but sure. Sweet and steady. Until of course, the waves come in, the names get washed away and your life, like mine, is an enactment of the movie that was Memento.
I saw this print advert in the newspapers today. It was of a private bank and the copy read: "If hope is your plan for the future, then you need to come to us." Ha! I smiled to myself. I can't seem to remember a day now, ever since December 2004, when 'hope' was not my 'plan', when it was not the only thing that I have been banking on! ;)
Times they are strange and people are becoming stranger. It's almost as if everyone that you thought you knew are becoming something else. Transforming into different beasts. Kafka-like ladybugs crawling on the floor.
Or am I becoming someone else?
I talked about renewed vigour in my last post and I thought it was coming, I thought it was just at the door, waiting for me, but then it never arrived since I last caught sight of it. Strange music in my head. Blank noises engulfing me to the point that even when I am conversing, it seems like a role play, a staged performance. The laughter, like the troubled jester who has to make people laugh in order to earn his money to feed his children. The tears, like the time-torn man on stage, who has to touch people's chord to become a tragic hero, to earn the applause. The groggy feeling inside my head, like the goalie who has to step out of the match 'cause he knows the game is over - loss is inevitable.
Winter is near. The weather is dry. They are celebrating every night, in some park, playing music till dawn, or inside some club, doing salsa as the Bacardi Night rolls out. All the brands are up for sale. Flashy accessories, eye-dazzling make-ups, figure-hugging shirts, mini-skirts, tequila shots, the swish and the swoon, the shake of the hips, the slight touch, the un-initiated thrust, the flirtatious smile, the over-used pick-up line: "Your place or mine"?
Life's a tango. I got that bit right. You got to know the moves and you got to have a partner to do it. Slow but sure. Sweet and steady. Until of course, the waves come in, the names get washed away and your life, like mine, is an enactment of the movie that was Memento.
5 Comments:
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I love the last lines of this. Your work makes me think of so much. So poignant and so full of messages.
Thank you Molly xxxxx
What can i say, u r simply fab. I am becoming a big fan or ur writing. keep it up buddy.
Thank you. I am pleased.
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