Something of Myself

How weighty is the baggage of perception? Methinks its a very difficult question to answer. I asked Shani yesterday if she "read" people as "texts". "Of course I do", she said while I watched the Exe flowing by behind her. "Do you read people just once, in the beginning or do you read them everyday", I asked. She said she read people all the time, until of course, she wanted to give them a night off!

To me, it seems that most people are conscious of the fact that they are being read. Hence, we put on masks. Masks are a very handy thing: yesterday when I walked in to have a drink with my supervisor and Shani, I was in a third-degree pessimisstic (check spelling!?) mood and yet neither of them actually saw through my mask. A job well done I told myself and gave a pat on my back! But now I have two questions battling it out in my mind:
How weighty is the baggage of perception?
Why do we need to wear masks?

Am I opinionated about my friends? Hell yes! Lekin I tend not to pass an ultimate judgement on them...Human beings have an amazing capacity to surprise you when you expect the least of it! Its good to give them a certain space in your world where they can role-play and exchange masks...Its getting more complicated right?

Amar nijer onek gulo mukhosh ache. I dont know who taught me to wear these masks, but I know that they have been a part of my life ever since I can remember. You might even want to call me obssessive in that respect. But life doesnt leave an option for you, does it? If you dont wear a mask, and allow people to see the "real" self, the "real" stuff that you are made off, the stuff that dreams and nightmares are made off, chances are you will invite deception, treachery, and perhaps even d.... I have put down my masks sometimes. Bhalo laage. But then there is this profound sense of insecurity within you that simply does not allow to face the world as you are - raw, naked, innocent, vulnerable, childish, dumb, foolish, a no-gooder steeped in ignorance.

Oh dear God, its time to take the train...I got to think more about these masks that we wear. I mean its bloody fascinating - right from the beggar to the President - masks are ubiquitiuous.

At present, I am not wearing any mask - I dont need one - I wear a caged helmet twenty fours hour a day. My vision of the world is tanned - in fact, its not a vision - its a squint.

p.s. This is a self-reminder to devote one blog to Shani - she is so full of contradictions and masks - I could write a whole blog on her! Imagine the marriage of Hamlet with Othello - thats what you are dealing with...you cannot be off-guard - she lives like a fly and stings like a bee! :)