Something of Myself
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Something Given
The title of this post is taken from an article by Hanif Kureishi on the process of writing (and rather presumptuously on the process of being a writer).
It has no connection with what I intend to write. I have been having a rough day. Yesterday saw the glory of writing about 3800 words and today for almost 3 hours I have managed some petty 800 words only! Its quite amazing how one day your creative juices just floods your brain, dehydrates every grey cell and makes you wish that you had more than twenty four hours a day. Ah, but again on some other days (like today) you keep on pushing yourself and check the "word count" on the blood word processor and simply sigh! Its hurting me, and thus I know its working. I guess part of what we write is not just about the words on page but the thought processes involved to produce those words. That is why, I think, each and every piece of work of mine is precious to me. Yes, of them, the older ones, the ones which I wrote 3 years back or more seem like crap but nevertheless they are testimony to my efforts at attempting to scale the heights and reach a certain level. The process is never easy, nobody said it was going to be...I know that, you dont need to tell that to me, thank you very much!
Moreover, I hate, absolutely HATE being a in a situation where there is no interactive learning. All that is there is research, independent research! Yes, it is true that I love to do research but there is a limit to everything! Do I sound contradictory? Well then, I am like that - I think in more ways than one! :)
Life aisa hi hain sahab rings perpetually in my mind...I know chameli, life aisa hi hain...magar isko hum sudhaar nahi sakte kya? Thoda sa? ;)
Min was right - if it's not hurting, its not working! I know its working but the fucking point is that others need to see that its working - I have submit this godforsaken chapter to my supervisor. She needs to see it on paper and EVALUATE it.
Why does everything in life need to be evaluated? Why cant we live in a suspended state of disbelief?
Never mind - some questions are difficult to answer and others are un-answerable. You got to live with it.
I am. I will.
p.s. "Giving up" is a phrase my parents never taught me. Oh cursed are they who do this to their children! ;)
p.s.2 What tho the field be lost? All is not lost...
The title of this post is taken from an article by Hanif Kureishi on the process of writing (and rather presumptuously on the process of being a writer).
It has no connection with what I intend to write. I have been having a rough day. Yesterday saw the glory of writing about 3800 words and today for almost 3 hours I have managed some petty 800 words only! Its quite amazing how one day your creative juices just floods your brain, dehydrates every grey cell and makes you wish that you had more than twenty four hours a day. Ah, but again on some other days (like today) you keep on pushing yourself and check the "word count" on the blood word processor and simply sigh! Its hurting me, and thus I know its working. I guess part of what we write is not just about the words on page but the thought processes involved to produce those words. That is why, I think, each and every piece of work of mine is precious to me. Yes, of them, the older ones, the ones which I wrote 3 years back or more seem like crap but nevertheless they are testimony to my efforts at attempting to scale the heights and reach a certain level. The process is never easy, nobody said it was going to be...I know that, you dont need to tell that to me, thank you very much!
Moreover, I hate, absolutely HATE being a in a situation where there is no interactive learning. All that is there is research, independent research! Yes, it is true that I love to do research but there is a limit to everything! Do I sound contradictory? Well then, I am like that - I think in more ways than one! :)
Life aisa hi hain sahab rings perpetually in my mind...I know chameli, life aisa hi hain...magar isko hum sudhaar nahi sakte kya? Thoda sa? ;)
Min was right - if it's not hurting, its not working! I know its working but the fucking point is that others need to see that its working - I have submit this godforsaken chapter to my supervisor. She needs to see it on paper and EVALUATE it.
Why does everything in life need to be evaluated? Why cant we live in a suspended state of disbelief?
Never mind - some questions are difficult to answer and others are un-answerable. You got to live with it.
I am. I will.
p.s. "Giving up" is a phrase my parents never taught me. Oh cursed are they who do this to their children! ;)
p.s.2 What tho the field be lost? All is not lost...
1 Comments:
i love this second PS "What tho the field be lost? All is not lost..." :)
u will be fine kiddo. u have amazing potential. u will be fine. great. ull make it. just hang on in there.
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