Something of Myself
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Anger Management.
Anger. Yes, that's the word. Furiously fuming - that's what I am right now. It's a weird thing, this anger. You can't let it out cause you know that anger turns you blind so you might end up doing a lot of silly things which you normally wouldn't have done. And myself, I always try very hard to control my anger because I know if I let it out, the object of my anger is going to perish and in turn I might be burned too.
Silly things make us angry sometimes. Small but consequential things, things that make your life that much difficult. And then, there are the big ones - like someone betrays us, puts you down, stabs you at the back, lies to you....There are two kinds of people in my life - a) who hurt me and I don't mind cause they are dear to me b) who hurt me and I want to fuck them bad, like you take an inch from me, and I will take a mile. Yes, that's how it is - a mile for an inch. Sounds aggressive, doesn't it? Well honey, if you don't be like this, I am afraid this world's going to turn out to be a very nasty place to live in. In fact, come to think of it, it wouldn't let you survive. You got to fight for each and every inch of your space.
"No, we won't let you in"
"Yes you will motherfucker."
I remember what Karen told me once. She said - "Pele, anger is a very complex thing to handle. It's even harder to write about and the first step towards dealing with it is to acknowledge its complexity." Alright, Karen, I've done that. Now what?
Should I go and take it out? Should I just keep it to myself? It depends on who made you angry, innit? Like for e.g. if it were my dad, I would think a hundred times before even saying a word because to hurt him is the last thing on my mind. But if it were some cocky, fat, impolite English wanker - well, I would perhaps beat the shit out of him or may be just put a lightning up his arse. So much for being a twat!
Never mind, I am not going to do that. There are ways to live and I think myself to be civilised. However, patience has its own limits and to try the patience of a patient man, well, you better not be the person - that's all I have to say!
Anger. Yes, that's the word. Furiously fuming - that's what I am right now. It's a weird thing, this anger. You can't let it out cause you know that anger turns you blind so you might end up doing a lot of silly things which you normally wouldn't have done. And myself, I always try very hard to control my anger because I know if I let it out, the object of my anger is going to perish and in turn I might be burned too.
Silly things make us angry sometimes. Small but consequential things, things that make your life that much difficult. And then, there are the big ones - like someone betrays us, puts you down, stabs you at the back, lies to you....There are two kinds of people in my life - a) who hurt me and I don't mind cause they are dear to me b) who hurt me and I want to fuck them bad, like you take an inch from me, and I will take a mile. Yes, that's how it is - a mile for an inch. Sounds aggressive, doesn't it? Well honey, if you don't be like this, I am afraid this world's going to turn out to be a very nasty place to live in. In fact, come to think of it, it wouldn't let you survive. You got to fight for each and every inch of your space.
"No, we won't let you in"
"Yes you will motherfucker."
I remember what Karen told me once. She said - "Pele, anger is a very complex thing to handle. It's even harder to write about and the first step towards dealing with it is to acknowledge its complexity." Alright, Karen, I've done that. Now what?
Should I go and take it out? Should I just keep it to myself? It depends on who made you angry, innit? Like for e.g. if it were my dad, I would think a hundred times before even saying a word because to hurt him is the last thing on my mind. But if it were some cocky, fat, impolite English wanker - well, I would perhaps beat the shit out of him or may be just put a lightning up his arse. So much for being a twat!
Never mind, I am not going to do that. There are ways to live and I think myself to be civilised. However, patience has its own limits and to try the patience of a patient man, well, you better not be the person - that's all I have to say!
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