Something of Myself

I want to be the editor of a women's fashion magazine. Don't ask me why 'cause I don't know myself.

I want to go away to the Hill. It is the only place that stills me. Everything inside me calms down.

I want to make a movie. On women - fallen women, angels, housewives, working women, corporate snooty, hip cat, mothers, lovers, betrayers - faceless, nameless, countless women. Their lives. Untold stories, unacknowledged sacrifices...

I want her to come back soon. I feel empty. A weird sense of incompleteness. A state of being.

I want to quit. And I want to start all over again.

I do not want to do the PhD anymore...it's a dream that will remain unfulfilled - without regrets.

I want to run to the Hill. Until I find myself. And then, vanish...into oblivion...lost in the crowd. I don't want to fit in and I don't want to stand out. Enough of this.

I want to drink. To my failures. For I have learnt from every single one of them.