Something of Myself
Monday, January 16, 2006
Comfortably Numb
A conversation sparked this off in my mind:
How long can we avoid situations? Situations that are not pleasant. Situations that can ONLY be resolved by communication. Situations where both parties involved feel that sense of uncomfortability. Situations where you perhaps know that you got to face that person at some point of time. So why wait? Why not take the bull by its horns?
Silence breeds misunderstanding. Silence allows room for interpretation.
Why can't we take the first step?
Why can't we put the past behind and make an effort?
Why can't we try and restore normalcy?
Where exactly does the hitch lie?
What does it take to go upto the other person and say - "Look, shit happened. You and I are both to be blamed. Others interfered. Made it worse. But hey, you never asked me and I never asked you. We assumed. And things got worse. I have come here, to you, not to make things fine, not to submit my ego, but to tell you the truth. To let you know that what happened was a sheer, careless, orchestrated misrepresentation for which I am sorry."
Yet, we don't do it. We leave it for the future. We leave it for the day when things become worse and we lose control; when loss is irrepairable. Whatever little hope that remains, is ashamedly lost in (what seems to me as) the ego battles. Little battles that we fight everyday, with loads of ego and huge proportions of pride.
My only fear is this: that I don't want the passage of time to ruin what could have been a resurrecting process. How many times have we lost relationships, emotions, passions, faces, voices, touches, wishes...just because we waited...because we didn't take the first step...waiting too long...for the other to come forward.
P.S. Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.
A conversation sparked this off in my mind:
How long can we avoid situations? Situations that are not pleasant. Situations that can ONLY be resolved by communication. Situations where both parties involved feel that sense of uncomfortability. Situations where you perhaps know that you got to face that person at some point of time. So why wait? Why not take the bull by its horns?
Silence breeds misunderstanding. Silence allows room for interpretation.
Why can't we take the first step?
Why can't we put the past behind and make an effort?
Why can't we try and restore normalcy?
Where exactly does the hitch lie?
What does it take to go upto the other person and say - "Look, shit happened. You and I are both to be blamed. Others interfered. Made it worse. But hey, you never asked me and I never asked you. We assumed. And things got worse. I have come here, to you, not to make things fine, not to submit my ego, but to tell you the truth. To let you know that what happened was a sheer, careless, orchestrated misrepresentation for which I am sorry."
Yet, we don't do it. We leave it for the future. We leave it for the day when things become worse and we lose control; when loss is irrepairable. Whatever little hope that remains, is ashamedly lost in (what seems to me as) the ego battles. Little battles that we fight everyday, with loads of ego and huge proportions of pride.
My only fear is this: that I don't want the passage of time to ruin what could have been a resurrecting process. How many times have we lost relationships, emotions, passions, faces, voices, touches, wishes...just because we waited...because we didn't take the first step...waiting too long...for the other to come forward.
P.S. Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.
2 Comments:
ur so right...it's hard to take the first step..we always want the other person to come forward and say it to us...it's called the EGO. Unfortunately we all have it and it's so hard to tame it...
Great eye-opening post pele!
Keshi.
Thank you Keshi. :-)
Little down at the mo, thanks to a terrible flu. Will be back soon!
Until then, take care...
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